Lose Yourself
by Cheez Wizz
Summary: You lose yourself in obsession, love, and death. [GWHP] ONESHOT. R&R!


**release**

You think you're about to die you're so nervous. All you're doing is waiting to glimpse his face, but you are nervous anyway. How could one person make you feel so jittery? Sure, he was only the most perfect person you'd ever met, but, it seems unnatural to even feel this way. About anyone. He consumes your thoughts and you let him. You pop your knuckles nervously as you wait.

Then he walks in. You think he'll notice you in your chair and pray he does, and pray he doesn't. Why is it the people make us the happiest make us feel the most pain and confusion? You sit and watch him while he strolls over to the fireplace. He seems to admire it, so how is it he can't admire you? You have enough fire to shame the sun, and yet he doesn't notice you in your chair.

Finally he turns and calls your name. Your heart stops. You have been Spotted. What if he knows you have been waiting here for him? Would he think that was creepy? He asks what are you doing, and you say nothing. Waiting.

He joins you in the chair next to yours and you gulp. You wish it could always be this way. Just the two of you. It's not that you don't love them all, but this is all you need. He says your name in a way that you like, and he puts his hand on your arm. His glasses slip down his nose, which you think is cute, but no doubt he thinks is embarrassing. He smiles sheepishly as he pushes them back up his nose.

Then he puts his hand in your hair, in your fire, and maybe after all he does appreciate it. Then he kisses you. You had not expected this. Not just in this moment, but ever. He had never shown signs of liking you in this way, but now it is apparent that he does like you in this way. You put your hand in his shaggy hair and kiss back with all you've stored up for so many years. Finally you have what you want.

They kiss in the hallway like no tomorrow. Everyone knows. Few care, except maybe the teachers. Even her mom smiles, she had always wanted this. Everyone had known it would happen eventually.

**hallelujah**

You reach for his hands as he walks out of your flat. You drag him back towards you and kiss him again. He smiles into your lips and walks out without saying a word. He knows that you don't need to hear goodbye to know he cares.

After Hogwarts this is like liberation. You don't have to sneak around the hallways any more. He can be yours any time of day. He can come over to your flat and you can shag whenever you want. You loved Hogwarts, but this is freedom.

You smile and sing and flop down on the couch. You love everything.

Everyone sees how happy she is, how well he is doing. Friends can't find it in themselves to be jealous, because it is too good to be jealous of. They smile and hope that it lasts.

**end**

Tears roll past freckles like a never-ending river. You don't know how this could happen. How could this happen to you. You don't deserve this. He doesn't deserve this.

He's dead he's dead he's dead. Your head tells you again and again and you tell it to stop but it won't. You're alone and you're alone. You scream out all the pain you feel and wait for it to stop.

He was such a hero, always a hero. He had to do what was right, but in the end it was so wrong. He tried to save everyone, because he always had to save everyone, and now he was gone. It shouldn't have been his job, but it always was, and now he was dead, and you were alone. Alone.

You cry for yourself and for him and for the world. Things would never be the same. He was dead and so were you, you might as well be dead. Dead the voice in your head says and you scream at it to shut up, but your head never shuts up. You scream and tell it to stop, and it won't.

Everyone cries. They cry for him, because he died so young, so handsome, so promising, just like his parents. They cry for her because she can't stop screaming and there's nothing they can do. They cry for themselves because they lost two people they love, and nothing will ever be the same.

A/N: Ok, yeah, I dunno where this one came from. But anyway, I'm sorry for the canon death here, but I like it, actually, in a sad way. I hope you did too, and I also hope you get that it was Ginny/Harry, tell me if that's too subtle. Please review, I beg you.


End file.
